Did You Vote?



As I stand in line this morning I acknowledge that I am blessed to have the privilege and opportunity to vote. So many of our ancestors, men and women of every nationality, have hurt, bleed and died so that I can cast my vote and my voice can be heard.

So I ask you, did you vote today?

I don't care about your political affiliation (rather it be republican, democratic, conservative, liberal or other) as long as we are not infringing upon each others' civil liberties.

Truth be told, I hate being put into any category. Don't ask if I am voting for this political party or that party. If I just voted democratic solely for the sake of being democratic, without being aware of the issues, I'll be going into the election poll only partially equipped with the knowledge necessary to make an educated, fully aware and informed decision. I pride myself on not being closed-minded, judging books by their covers, and as few times as necessary, putting my foot in my mouth.

It's funny to me when people say that they are not going to vote at all because they hate the overall system of the campaign, the government, the presidential candidates or any other multitude of reasons they may come up with. Someone once told me that ‘not making a decision is in fact making one.‘ Those people are making a decision to deal with whatever hand they are dealt without even attempting to make a change. When wanting to save for that dream home or vacation, every penny counts. Just as, more importantly, every voice/vote counts to have an influence on tomorrow.

So, I ask again, did you vote today? Are you making your voice heard and your opinion count? If not, what are you waiting for?

Still a work in progress

Las Vegas, Baby!!!

Oh my God. It has been a minute since I have posted anything on my blog. Please forgive me. I have just gotten back from my first ever vacation to Las Vegas and it was A-MAY-ZING. I am happy to be home though. Vegas it definitely a place I will visit again. I have posted pictures below of the main events to have happened during the much too long 5 day stint there. I am sorry that there is no organization to the pictures. We just saw and did so, so much.

View from oh hotel room window

Right before we all went to the Thunder From Down Under Show.

Angel and I immediately after the Thunder Show. Eating at Bucca di Becco.

Sandra and I drinking our first 25oz beverage from Evening Call.





The nightly view from our window.

Two Chippendale dancers and I.

Sandra and I on our way to LAX night club. It was so crowded. We decided to go to the CatHouse after. Way more fun.

Leigh and I. He was so sweet.

Angel and I in front of the Titanic Exhibit.

Sandra and I before we went out clubbing.

Sandra, Angel and I while shopping at Marshall Rousso store.

Walking the strip.

Posing in my new outfit from Marshall Rousso

Look at Bri-Bri. Can you see her?

Angel attempting to get me drunk with Jello shots (3 for $5, great deal). Walking around in a swimsuit is not a bad thing in Vegas. No one seemed to me surprised or thrown off.

I just purchased a greatly discounted Vittorio purse, clutch and purse all for less than $100.



Still a work in progress

Back in the Groove

Stella’s finally got her groove back.

No, not like in the Angela Basset/Taye Diggs sort of way.

I wish.

Keep your minds out of the gutter.

I have finally gotten back to my workout groove. Every since I got my promotion and Angel has not been working out with me, I found excuse after excuse why I couldn’t get in that workout - ‘I was exhausted.’ ‘I’m tired.’ Oh, and my personal favorite, ‘I’m mentally drained, you can’t expect me to give a hundred percent like this.’ - You think it; I more than likely said it. I wasn't completely horrible though. I did make a conscious effort to eat better.

 Still a work in progress

Envy and Jealousy

Growing up, I remember wanting what others had. I was envious when childhood friends went on vacations for the summer and all I could look forward to was staying at home. I was jealous to see that a girl in my class had both parents at home while I couldn't even recall the last time I had seen my father.

Envy and Jealousy can lead us to resenting our lives and others for having what we covet. We forget the things that we are actually blessed to have.

There was a time when all I wanted was just another life. I have finally gotten to the point where I am no longer in that resentful phase. I cherish all that I have and appreciate all the things about my life that I once despised.

“You can feel anything. All is free for you to feel. But I guarantee you that if you allow yourself to feel envy and then to swim in it, that envy will destroy you and the people around you. Envy is unlike anger. Envy is not a right wing nor a left wing, it is not on either end of the balancing beam. Nobody needs it and I can assure you that once you give yourself to it, you will be eaten up. Envy can even eat up nations, casting them up against each other and pull a whole nation down into an internal collapse.”
― C. JoyBell C.

Still a work in progress

Teach



Work in progress

If Time Were Running Out...

Curly Nikki | Natural Hair Styles and Curly Hair Care: If Time Were Running Out...:  by Taneica of ShatterProofGlassDolls Yesterday, I finally got around to watching the 2011 American Dystopian film In Time . The g...

Still a work in progress

The Time is Now

Its sad seeing how far we have come as people and at the same time seeing that our children are clueless. The examples they have before them are setting them up for failure. Fathers are not in the homes to raise their children. Girls don't know what it means to be a woman. Boys are not taught how to be men. Boys grow up fighting for something of which they have never seen. They are given the impossible task to being something great but are constantly put down until they eventually give up and say 'Fuck it.'

Little girls are raised by mothers who are either working too many jobs to attend to that little girls' insecurities and questions or those mothers use their kitty-cat to get money and pay bills. Neither example is sufficient to raise a woman. These little girls grow up to be always confused and unguided, not knowing how to raise their own little boys and girls. They grow up to be with the same little boys who never had a clue of how to be responsible.

The time is now to set the great examples of what it means to be a woman or to be a man. Even if you do not have a child, children are always watching, searching and begging for guidance. No more excuses. Stand up and stop the bullshit.

Dear Women

Dear Men

Still a work in progress

Woman's Worth



Still a work in progress

I Dream



Am I the only person that thinks that dreams are a form of premonition? What do you do when your dreams re giving you contradicting advise?

For the last few nights I have had happily beautiful dreams and some horribly bad dreams? They all pertain to the same subject but one day the dream says 'yes' and the next day, the dream says not just 'no, that's a bad idea' but 'Hell No!' Then the cycle repeats. I even have nights like last night when I have multiple dreams with mixed signals about the same thing.  They are telling me I should follow my heart and at the same time to run like hell.

Don't we all love dreams like this? Which road should I take?

I need a dream interpreter.


Still a work in progress

21 Day Cleanse

As many of you know, I have been consistently working out since mid-January (about 4-5 times a weeks). My usual mentality is that I can eat anything that I want because I am working out constantly. Big no-no.  I found myself gaining weight. As there is a noticeable difference in my frame because of the bulking up, people are saying that the weight gain is because of the increase in muscle. I beg to differ. I am sure that my occasions of eating Lee's chicken or Chinese on Friday's while doing laundry, or any type of ice cream multiple times a weeks are not helping my determination for a healthier lifestyle.

Last Sunday I embarked on a quest to eat healthier. No more snacking on excessive amounts of cranberries or almonds (Side note -Did anyone know that you can eat too many almonds? I didn't. I ate those like potato chip. Hey, at least they're not Lays.). For 21 days I will be only consuming baked/grilled/sauteed chicken, tuna, fruits, vegetables and egg whites. That means no fats, starches, fat, sugar, or dairy.

Today is day 6. So far so good. I have already noticed a change in my body (I've dropped 5 lbs already) and my appetite (I know that I don't have to eat badly to have tasty foods in my mouth).

15 days to go.

I can do this.


Still a work in progress

I Love You



I love you more than starry nights
Than candy and a cake
Than sugar plums and marshmallows
And clear blue lakes

I love you more than chocolate
And big red roses
Than heart lockets and cute pandas
And boxes of Sweetarts

I love you more than lollipops
Than snugly sock
Oh, I love Sour Patch Kids of all sizes,
But I love YOU the most!
~by Anonymous

This is how I wish I felt today, without hesitation or doubt.

I want to be loved like this - sweet, pure, innocent, unconditional love. No stipulations or want of changing me the way I am. I want someone that loves my simplicity, moments of unpredictability and bold honesty. Tomorrow will be a better day and a new opportunity to grow and continually prepare myself for that deserved love.  


edited from original post to add YouTube video:

Still a work in progress

Changes



There has been a number of great things happening in my life lately. I am really excited about all of the new opportunities, changes, and adventures that have presented themselves. I will share a few things with you now but not everything as I would hate to jinx myself on some of those aspects.

First, I got a promotion at work. You are now looking at GatewayCDI's new Inventory Planner/Buyer. I can finally get off the phones and won't have to deal with argumentative customers any more. I will be dealing primarily with vendors and management (a whole new dragon of headaches, I'm sure).

After taking a close look at the way my life has turned out, I really admire the woman I am becoming. I've been a responsible person for as long as I can remember, but I now see an adult peering back at me when I look into the mirror.

In celebration of my promotion and new phase of life, Angel and I decided to have an Impromptu Photo Shoot at her house.

I'm sure you guys have noticed by now that I love taking photos:



There are more announcements to come. I will not leave you all hanging. I will tell you as the months unfold.

Still a work in progress

The Truth About Getting What You Want

It's all fun and games and positive affirmations when you're trying to accomplish something. But how about when you actually get the gig and you’re like “Oh Sh*t!”, what do I do now? How will I have time for this and everything else on my plate? What if I don’t live up to expectations?

This is it. This is what you’ve prayed about, visualized, and spoke into existence. And now that it’s here in your lap, you’re freaking out.

Maybe I shouldn’t speak for you. You’re probably poised and capable at all times. Not a hair or a mission statement out of place. That’s okay. I see you. And one of these days I’ll be like you.

But for now, I freak out. I question myself and I worry. All the while, there’s a calm place inside of me that knows without a shadow of doubt that doors will open, growth will occur, and amazing things are ahead. I try to live from that place as much as possible and let its enduring calm reign over my thoughts and my perception of things.

While on the subject of thoughts, I haven’t achieved supreme mastery over my thoughts just yet. Wouldn’t that be lovely? I feel like I’d be a zen rock star if I had complete control over my many musings.

No mean thoughts. No bad memories resurfacing. No paranoia.

But even with my wanderlust of a mind, I do know how to redirect my thoughts when they turn disturbia. First, you can’t dwell on things that bring you down. Second, no overthinking. Finally, no player hating or cock blocking. Even the mental kind. Those things cause inertia. Inertia keeps you from getting what you really want.

We know that getting what we want can be scary, so let’s all take a moment and make a list of what we are so afraid of. Let’s call the monsters out! Having a dream fulfilled is supposed to be a triumphant moment, so what are the drawbacks (whether real or bogus) that cause us to get cold feet when opportunity knocks? I’ll go first!

I worry that…

…my children, relationship, family and friends will not receive enough attention and support from me if I’m so occupied with my career and personal projects

…I won’t have the creative capacity to keep coming up with fetching ideas, thus my work will get boring

…people won’t “get” me/won't receive me well

…my income won’t be reliable or sustainable

...as an introvert, I'll struggle with networking and other ghastly things that I don't enjoy but are necessary

...I'll quit when things get tough.

What else? Share your little thought monsters with me below. I bet they'll seem small and unreasonable when you see them written down.


by GG of Peace, Love and Pretty Things




Still a work in progress

If We Were Friends

Let me set up the scenario. You’re sitting on a bus or waiting in your doctor’s office when you see a young woman, visibly upset, sitting by herself in a far corner. She looks shaken, tired. She may even look as though she’s been crying. Your initial reaction may be to walk over and whisper a kind word, lean in and give her a warm hug or just offer a bit of advice. But you stop yourself for various and sometimes obvious reasons. We all have boundaries and in an effort to respect others, sometimes we keep to ourselves and fight an inward struggle. We may even attempt to come up with alternatives to let the other person know that they’re not alone.

Well, I know I have been in the above situation. Having a bleeding heart like mine makes it difficult for me to just look the other way, so sometimes I find myself offering a Kleenex and an understanding smile. I never ask and I seldom even utter a word. I just hope that my actions are enough. With that said, I felt inspired to write an open letter to all my dolls who may be going through some emotional turbulence right now. I typically don’t title within posts, but I figured this letter could use one.

If We Were Friends

If we were friends, I would tell you that your tears aren’t tears of defeat, but they’re tears of resolve and are cleansing your soul so that you can start again with a clean slate. I’d tell you that no matter what your situation is, it’s worth fighting through, because YOU are worth fighting for. I would remind you that though your heart feels like it’s breaking, in actuality, it’s growing and taking in new experiences. The ache that you feel is your soul and spirit growing to a larger capacity. Stretching can be very uncomfortable, especially if you haven’t done it in a very long time. Whether you’ve just ended a relationship, lost a loved one or failed miserably at something that you tried very hard to accomplish, you will be okay. There’s a reason why though you feel so crappy, you’re still breathing! The biggest reason is because you can get through this. There are people to talk to and pray with, there are things that you can do and there are still lessons for you to learn. Allow yourself to grieve, allow yourself to cry, but also allow yourself to forgive and heal. This is a page, a chapter at most in your book of life experiences. Take this opportunity to mold the remaining chapters however you choose. There’s more good and a little more bad ahead, but you’re a tough cookie. You can make it! You are loved and you are NEVER alone. In closing I want to remind you that you are, always have been and always will be, a Shatterproof Glass Doll. If you don’t know what this means, hopefully the definition will make you smile a little. A Shatterproof Glass Doll is a fragile woman who can never be broken beyond repair. That’s you honey. Arm yourself with these heartfelt words of love, empowerment and positivity and keep your head up.

by Taneica of ShatterProofGlassDolls
Still a work in progress

Acknowledging Your Accomplishments

Curly Nikki | Natural Hair Styles and Curly Hair Care: Acknowledging Your Accomplishments: by Bennii Blast of The Culture Pine So my days as a 21 year old came to an end this week as I turned 22. With every birthday that rolls ...

Still a work in progress

Happy Birthday to Us!

Today was a really good day. I thought I'd share the post my sister put on Facebook for me today. It was so sweet.

On this day 28 years ago I was privileged and honored to be brought into this world with one of the most outgoing and wonderful women I know. She is the yin to my yang, she is the day to my night, she is my best friend and she is truly my better half. I couldn’t imagine my life without you. Happy Birthday Sweetie! I Love You So Much!!!!!!! ~Angel Difani

Still a work in progress

Kissed

Blu said it all

Still a work in progress

Hey Baby Girl

I am you

you are me

we have come so far

from who we used to be

Keep your head up

please stay strong

I'll stand by you

when you think you're all alone

The pain will ease

the tears will cease

and the sorrow will go away

no matter what you believe

I will be there

I'll hold your hand and wipe your face

I'm with you especially when you are lonely

When the darkness is closing in

I'll keep you in my warm embrace

Tomorrow will come

the sun is almost here

This pain will end

You don't have to cry no more tears

Hear me

Please hear me

Believe me

I am with you always

I promise

You are me

I am you

Together we'll make it through

Work in progress

Living Alone Makes You Crazy

Just read a rather interesting post on Madame Noire:

According to the New York Times trend piece, living alone can make you crazy. Seriously, that’s what it says. And here I was thinking that living with a house full of kids and a thankless husband would be a nightmare…

Steven Kurutz, the writer of the Times piece, says that 1 in every 4 American households is occupied by someone living alone. While the benefits are plentiful including the freedom to come and go as you please and the space and solitude to recharge one’s batteries, Kurutz says that the single-occupant home lacks the certain social checks and balances required to keep folks on the straight and narrow.  As such, living alone can also be a breeding ground for “Secret Single Behavior. ”

What classifies as Secret Single Behaviors? Well Kurutz uses examples in the form of two people who live alone, who have eccentricities such as running in place during TV commercials; speaking conversational French to themselves while making breakfast; singing Journey songs in the shower; sustaining oneself largely on cereal, nuts and seeds; turning your dryer into a makeshift dresser (because you are too lazy to take the clothes out of the dryer and put them in its proper place), and never closing the bathroom door when…er… handling your business. All this kind of makes you crazy.

Wait, why would you need to close the bathroom door if you live alone? Perhaps Kurutz has never thought about the serial killer, who is waiting to break into your home and plans to sneak up on you while you take care of business on the toilet. He can’t sneak up on you if you see him coming. Or at least that is what I got from watching lots of horror films. All alone. By myself. Hmm, maybe he has a point.

I mean I do talk to both my cat and dog, although it is only my dog Coltrane who pays attention to what I’m saying. And yeah, at times while watching television, I do talk to myself but that is only because I tell funny jokes and it would be rude not to laugh.  And okay, I admit it; Lucky Charms taste just as good for dinner as much as they do for breakfast. But is that really eccentric? I mean, I am sort of socially inept out in public, so perhaps my chosen home-based solitary confinement is the source for my own social awkwardness? Nawh, I don’t think so.

For me, living alone is an escape from the outside world. There is a lot of psychiatric illness out there, particularly if you live in the city. Places with denser populations also mean that folks are constantly subjected to bright lights and loud noises, poor environmental climates, crime, high taxes, low wages, long work schedules, proper protocols and greater socioeconomic divide. As such, it is easy to develop or become at-risk for anxiety disorders, mood disorders, and schizophrenia. In fact, in a study of more than 7,000 people in the Netherlands, investigators found that both full-blown psychotic disorders and milder psychosis-like symptoms were more common among those living in urbanized areas. So perhaps having your own personal space, which requires you to spend at least a few hours a day away from other people, might be the therapy that some folks need to not only decompress but also to act out all of those “eccentricities” without fear of looking odd or crazy out in public.

And there are definitely fun perks to living alone.  Like being able to walk right into the house, unhinge the bra and throw it on the couch without worrying that someone is going to chastise you for not putting your clothing in the hamper. Like lounge around on my couch to channel flip and doing absolutely nothing productive without someone saying, “is that what you did all day?” Yes, it is and l liked it a lot. Like cooking unbalanced meals such as corn on the cob, skittles and pita bread and eating it all with my fingers. Like not having to rush to do the dishes or vacuum or even make my bed.  Like walking around the house in mixed matched sweats, holey socks and drawers or naked if I want. The possibilities of all the crazy stuff you can do at home, by yourself, are both endless and awesome.

Of course, you can have too much of a good thing.  And while I do cherish my moments of solitude, I’m also aware that long periods of time alone can make me feel like I’m becoming lazy and going crazy- especially if Coltrane, my dog, refuses to talk to me. I do have to remind myself to clean, to get off the couch and be productive and social with real people outside of my abode and to eat something nutritious. But that’s when individual accountability and responsibility come into play.  If a grown up has to live with someone just to keep him/her in check socially, well then you are not doing it (adulthood) right.

Since I do live alone, I wondered how this would all apply to me. On many points I definitely agree on. Though I don't have a cat or dog to chat with, I often find myself just having to say something out loud to myself because I've realized on a Sunday that I haven't heard my own voice since I left work on the previous Friday.


Still a work in progress

Multifaceted

When I started this blog, I started because I had/have so much to say. Obviously, I just have random comments or bits of inpirational or encouraging words for people. Other times, you can see just some of my rambles about nothing in particular. A friend and I were talking today and he asked me why I didn't post any of my poetry on my page. This made me wonder because I have been reading and inspired by poetry since I was a little girl.

This is to him; he knows who he is -

Simple Decision

a glimpse into possibility
of all that may be
shadows of the past
wondering if this time it'll last

he says 'yes'
I'll say 'no'
all the possibility

I will try
...we'll see how far we'll go

which road should I take
should I go left or right
what if there are obstacles in the way
how about a dead end
it may cause stress
endless heartaches
just to start over again.
what if...

don't wanna hear that talk
'everything happens for a reason'
or
'deciding not to make a decision is making a decision'

I'm tired
my hands are callused
feet are numb
my body is exhausted
I've lost pieces of myself
with my experience
I've superglued my heart together
more times than I can remember
I have no more tears to cry
that well has run dry

I just wanna know
know I'm making the right choice
don't think I can handle another bump in the road

If this
then that
which is better
what should I do
which way should I turn
whom should I choose

I think I know
I think...
I don't know

Still a work in progress

Oops (Oh My)

Tweet

everything is new and great
like my first taste of chocolate
you are becoming my addiction
maybe more than I can take

pleasant surprises
make me smile throughout the day
a distraction from everyday tasks
until the next sunrise



Still a work in progress

I Love Me

Hey, lovelies. I hope your day will be a great one. With all of us wanting to be in the arms of the one we love, I hope you remember to love yourselves first. If you are not able to love yourself fully, how do you expect someone to love you as you are or to even love them as they deserve?



So Happy Valentine's Day!

Hollywood's version of love

Still a work in progress

Whitney Houston

As we all know (unless you've been living under a rock) Whitney Houston passed away over the weekend. It is rather unfortunately that we lost a person with such a strong and wonderful vocal ability. Whitney inspired new artists and she soothed all of our hearts. Even those moments when we had something to say but didn't know how to express ourselves, she was there.

Not knowing her struggles or the complications she may have gone through, I won't even began to try to figure out why the passing of Whitney Houston has come. I will say that I am saddened that it has happened.  Through her music, I felt like I knew her like a distant cousin.  I was always rooting for her.  I do remember when I was a little girl wanting to become a singer just like Whitney Houston. However, I am happy to have had the opportunity to hear and experience her music.



Still a work in progress

*Side note on addiction: When people think about addiction there are always preconceived notions and expectations on how an addict is to be treated. Most people immediately jump on the bandwagon and assume that an addiction is only substance related (i.e. drugs and alcohol). Substance related addictions have become taboo and shunned by society. People are quick to say "No, that doesn't count" to the  non-substance abuse addictions like gaming, gambling, eating, sex and numerous other behavioral addictions people experience.

People annoy me with their know-it-all-judgements. They are so sure of the reason why or how something happened. They do not know what people are going through or that person's mindset so they should just shut the bleep up.

Yoga, Ouch

So, I did yoga for the first time ever on Monday. I only did half of one program (not even really half; I did 13 minutes and 41 seconds of the entire 30 minute program). Why is my body so unbelievably sore? I've been working out consistently for the last 4 weeks straight (5 days a week, Monday thru Friday) and I feel like my body has been run over just because of some deep stretching and breathing. 

I am reminded of elementary school when we were instructed to touch our toes without bending ours knees ( I could never reach, the tips of my fingers can barely graze my shins). I suppose if I had tried more to become more flexible as a child I wouldn't be so stiff and inflexible as an adult. 



I'll give yoga another try later this week (when it stops hurting to breath).

Still a work in progress

Beauty Day

This passed Saturday I invited a number of ladies over my house to participate in a Beauty Day. This was a day for women to get away from their day-to-day tasks of being mother, wife, or lover to someone. It was an opportunity for them to pamper themselves and be the beautiful women they are without the distractions.



We all had such a great time. I do plan on doing this again. Who doesn't want to feel beautiful?


You may write me down in history 
With your bitter, twisted lies, 
You may trod me in the very dirt 
But still, like dust, I'll rise. 

Does my sassiness upset you? 
Why are you beset with gloom? 
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells pumping in my living room. 

Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, 
Just like hopes springing high, 
Still I'll rise. 

Did you want to see me broken? 
Bowed head and lowered eyes? 
Shoulders falling down like teardrops. 
Weakened by my soulful cries. 

Does my haughtiness offend you? 
Don't you take it awful hard 
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines 
Diggin' in my own back yard. 

You may shoot me with your words, 
You may cut me with your eyes, 
You may kill me with your hatefulness, 
But still, like air, I'll rise. 

Does my sexiness upset you? 
Does it come as a surprise 
That I dance like I've got diamonds 
At the meeting of my thighs? 

Out of the huts of history's shame 
I rise 
Up from a past that's rooted in pain 
I rise 

I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, 
Welling and swelling 
I bear in the tide. 
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear 
I rise 

Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear 
I rise 
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, 
I am the dream and the hope of the slave. 
I rise 
I rise
I rise. 

~ Still I Rise, Dr. Maya Angelou 

 Still a work in progress