Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I am thankful for many things - good and bad. Everything I have gone through have molded the woman I am today. I love me and I wouldn't change any of it.



Still a work in progress

Your Dreams Are a Reality Right Now



This life has an infinite number of potentials for you; we live in a made to order Universe. Whatever you believe is possible for you and take consistent action upon is what becomes your reality. If you keep telling yourself that your dream isn't possible, you will come to find that you are absolutely right. But my friend, if you draw a line in the sand and tell the Universe that your dreams are a reality RIGHT NOW, and take action as if that were the case, you will come to find that you are absolutely right. The question is how long can you live in the fire of your dreams' manifestation? -Jackson Kiddard

What have you been dreaming about? How do you take action as though it already exists? Start by:

Visualizing

Talking about it in the present tense

Expressing gratitude for it

Setting small milestones as part of your longer term goals

Being patient as it unfolds

Start now.

 Kim Jackson 

Still a work in progress

Music I Have on Repeat

Robin Thicke (hot) and Paula Patton (absolutely gorgeous) shows us that just because we may fight in your relationships, there may be love still left.





Then there is Cee Lo green and Melonie Fiona, no words are even needed. Just listen to the words



Still a work in progress

Boundaries

Are You Afraid Of Setting Boundaries In Your Relationship?

How many times have you dated someone who treated you less than you deserved to be treated?

How many times have you dated someone who made you feel undervalued?

Many times when we feel unappreciated in dating, it’s because we haven’t set clear enough boundaries of how we want to be treated. Don’t assume that others will make you a priority, that others will be proud of you, that others will put your feelings first, even above their own. Why not, that is how you would treat the person that you’re dating. Except dating isn’t about reciprocity. It’s a showcase of talents, what someone is capable of.

If your capabilities fit the needs of someone else’s then you have a match.

Unfortunately, when our abilities don’t fit that need or their facilities don’t fit our own, we overcompensate by doing what someone else wants instead of what we want.You might call that compromise but what makes us feel devalued is the expectation that we will always be the one to bend. The expectation that you are okay with treatment that you’re not okay with is why we feel taken advantage of.

What makes the people that we date feel allowed to mistreat us is our lack of boundaries and consequences for overstepping them.

Many people don’t understand boundaries. In dating we get so caught up with the idea of fairness that we expect to be treated the way that we treat others but that is just not the case. Dating is not a give and take.
Single people are looking for someone who fits their criteria and can supply them with the feelings that they need. We date to feel not to get. If you make someone feel ‘special’ they will go far beyond for you than you may ever do for them and that feeling cannot be replicated. What one person makes you feel can’t just be found in someone else. This is why we have such a hard time finding partners.

Many people may offer the superficial traits we are looking for but they can’t give us that feeling, we so deeply desire.

This is why boundaries are so hard to set. We desperately believe that once we find this “feeling”, we must hold it at all costs. We want to set a standard but if it prevents a potential date from liking us, we falter, we bend, and we are flexible until we have no boundaries at all.

When the person we are dating expects us to accept behaviors that we don’t find acceptable that is crossing a boundary. When you’re dating someone who expects you to come to their house, and never volunteers to come to your house that may be crossing a boundary. It is up to you to say, no. We have to share the responsibility.

If you are afraid that they will just say no and you will lose them, you are devaluing yourself.

It’s okay to want to set boundaries for the sake of laying down the law. The only way people will respect you is if they know what you stand for and you actually stand for it. Don’t make the mistake of bending the rules for some when you wouldn’t bend them for others. That is your fear in action.

We fail to set boundaries because we are afraid that the person of our desire will leave us if we aren’t accommodating. You have to find the strength to let go of this apprehension. Anyone comfortable with making you do things that disrespect yourself isn’t worth the hassle.

Your boundaries allow you to maintain your self-worth and value. They create the foundation of what makes you feel good because you’re being treated in a way that you feel you deserve. Why would you want to be with someone who essentially is treating you less than you’re worth?

The idea of boundaries is to state clearly what you feel like you’re worth. You can’t be treated as high value in a low value relationship. Only when the person you’re dating understands that you won’t settle for less, is when you’ll begin to get more.

Thoughts?

** I am working on taking that advise***

Still a work in progress

Who are you in the face of disappointment?

Every one enjoys a good day. One in which happiness and joy are just around the corner. When you are in a relationship, everything is peachy until a problem arises. True character is built when tests are encountered. Bonds of relationships are either broken or strengthened. Real growth is achieved when curve balls are tossed in the mix.

Reminding myself that roses grow in shit and diamonds are made under pressure help me weather the storms.

Mara Hruby -  Character

Still a work in progress

My Natural Hair Journey ...so far

8/28/10 - present

I decided on August 28^th 2010 to no longer get a relaxer. I went to the salon, initially to get a relaxer but while I sat in the chair I changed my mind. Whenever I would leave the salon, I hated how lifeless my hair felt. I had been thinking, for some time, what it would take for me to stop getting relaxers; but I must admit I was afraid of what I would find. Don't judge me, I know I am not the first person to ever go natural and neither will I be the last but this adventure is new to me and was very scary. 

It has been 15 months since my last relaxer and 12 since I cut off all of the relaxed ends. I am still learning the do’s and don’t's of this journey but I am very much enjoying it every step of the way. I have learned so much about myself as a person and have more confidence than I have ever had. One awesome thing about being natural, you can’t really have a bad hair day. At least I don’t think so, it’s all in how you carry yourself.

Still a work in progress