A Real World Diva's Laws to Live By

by: Tanecia Phillips of Shatterproof Glass Dolls

According to Webster’s online dictionary, a diva is a distinguished female operatic singer or female operatic star. According to the urban dictionary, a diva is a bitchy woman that must have her way exactly, or no way at all. Often rude and belittles people, believes that everyone is beneath her and thinks that she is so much more loved than what she really is. selfish, spoiled, and overly dramatic. (Thanks Charmain!) According to Beyonce, a diva is the female version of a hustler. According to me a diva is a woman who carries herself with confidence and assertion and looks damn good doing it . It took me a long, LONG time to get to that point, but I have found that life is so much more fun when you live your life by your own rules and enjoy every day like it’s the first day to something really big! Everybody has their own way of perceiving the world, but I want to share with you my perception of the way I view the world around me. I’ve been told that I am very unusual and see life through a completely more fun pair of binoculars than the average gal, but hey, life’s short, sip champagne, make lots of love, buy lots of shoes and take lots of pictures. So, here’s the rules I live by. Hopefully every doll reading this will find something that they can tuck away in their purse for a rainy day.

1. Accept that you’re a diva. It’s cool, I swear. If you think there’s a negative connotation to the term, turn it into a positive one by living your life above the “title”. Ya know, it’s funny, a confident woman who knows exactly what she wants and won’t accept anything less could be viewed as a bitch, but a man who does the same thing has cojones. Things that make you go “hmmm”, right?

2. Embrace that you’re a diva. See, the thing about it, is there’s millions of people out there waiting for you to figure out how damn fabulous you are so that you can share all that fabulous, sexiness with the WORLD! What are you waiting for?

3. Take pictures, because you’re a diva. I don’t care if you live in Minnesota, the key is stepping out as if the paparazzi is at your front door. I’m not saying that you need to don heels and a fur coat just to go to Wal-Mart (lord knows, I don’t), but always be camera ready. You may run into a group of old friends and decide to go to lunch, an ex with a dreadful looking new companion, or a “prospect” (wink wink). Keep your game tight!

4. Find your “cape”. There will be days when your sexy will be a 2 on a scale from 1-10. On those days, you may not be able to bring yourself up to a full 10, but with your “cape” you can at least pull down a 5 or 6! You remember how Clark Kent was a shy news person, but became Superman once he dusted off his cape and speedos? Same rule applies for divas. On those down days, put on your “cape” to remind you that you’re fabulous, you're gorgeous and you f'ing rock! It can be anything, a pair of jeans that show off that illegally perky booty, a particular pair of earrings that show off your long neck, maybe even a sexy pair of panties or a bra! For me, it’s any pair of stilettos I can find in my closet. Something about wearing heels forces me to strut whether I want to or not. By the time I get from the parking lot to the inside of my destination, I’m ready to kick butt and take names.

5. Find your sexy selling point. Every woman had a sexy selling point. It can be anything from your giggle to your expressive eyes. Find what makes you sexy and work it. 

6. Be the girlfriend that every other girlfriend would love to have, but only few ever get the pleasure to really know. Good friends are hard to come by. For some reason, girl friends are even trickier to tack down than dudes! Listen and respond when talking on the phone, even if your favorite show is on. Show up and ALWAYS be there when it matters most to her, not you. Be that boost of confidence when hers is running low, but also know when to be that swift kick in the ass when she needs it too. Be the type of friend that you would want to have. Nobody ever needs 20 close friends. Have a close bunch that you can devote yourself to. That way, you're not spreading yourself thin!

7. Always say “please” and “thank you”. A real world diva is not a self-centered, entitled, bitchy type. A real world diva knows that it’s easier to coax ants with honey than vinegar. A diva gets her own so she doesn’t have to wait for anyone to get it for her. A real world diva is always appreciative and gracious. A real world diva remembers what her mama taught her about manners and giving respect to get respect. There will be moments when you may have to be “nice-sty”, but for the most part, being polite is so chic and never, ever goes out of style.

8.Treat your heart like a drop top convertible. By this, I mean, let down your “drop top” and enjoy what the world around you has to offer. Leave the top down so you don’t miss a beat. Sure there will be rain, hurricanes even! But there will also be beautiful sunny days and spring time flowers. Learn what you can and enjoy the rest. You can handle the bad times and good times. Trust me, I should know.

9. When it comes to your appearance, remember, what God gave you is more beautiful than anything you can buy. No matter what it is, or what you’re working with, God created it. You got a few extra pounds? Shoot you call it fat, I call it blessings. Sure, I was skinnier in college, but I didn’t have what to eat then the way I do now. God blessed me with a job so that I can afford to fill my fridge with groceries. Your boobs aren’t as perky as they once were? Take a look at that beautiful human being you brought into this world. The lord giveth and taketh. What you call wrinkles, I call blessed laugh lines. I’ll keep the wrinkles around my eyes and dimples. They're there because I’ve been laughing more than crying these last 27 years of my existence. You were fearful and wonderfully made, child. Hold your head high and accentuate your God given gorgeousness.

Taking notes where I can ...

~Still a work in progress

Shut Up



For those people that can’t keep those buzzing bees out of their ear

People are going to talk regardless. It doesn’t matter if you are in a good place or bad, people always have something to say. Even if Especially if you don’t ask for their opinion, they will want to tell you how you should live your life. Just remember, you are the only one living your life and have to deal with the choices you've made (even if you allowed someone to convince you to do that dumb thing that you did and now regret oh so much).

For those who can’t keep their two cents to themselves

Sometimes we all just need to remember to shut the f%&! up. Everything we are thinking does not need to be verbalized. The world will not end, if you keep your thoughts in yourself. Your head won't even explode if it exceeds capacity.

Remember that saying, “If you don't have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” Well, I am making a new effort to try my hardest to think before I insert foot into mouth. I know I have the tendency to have verbal diarrhea at times. I think I am entitled to tell people my thoughts because I am so smart and they just have to listen to me.

The overall lesson to leave with is for you to be careful what you say to people. They just might take your advice and repay you with a swift punch in your throat.

 
Still a work in progress

Necessity

The only time a person misses what they have lost is because they never thought they would lose it...treat people as more than an accessory to your life and more as a necessity to your existence.

~ X Blue Rayne

Still a work in progress

Selena J - Your Thoughts Determine How You Feel

Selena J: Selena J's blog postings.

I had a moment. The other day I was feeling a little down (for various reasons) and I found myself in a mental space that was completely counterproductive. I stayed there and lingered in doubt and disappointment for about 5 minutes. Then all of the sudden I asked myself, what are you doing? Why are you feeling this way? Why are you thinking this way? Then I told myself the same thing I tell others all the time. You only feel a certain way because you are thinking a certain way. If you change how you are thinking then you will change how you are feeling. So I did! Just like that I began to turn my negative and depressing thoughts into powerful and positive statements of affirmation and within minutes I began to feel better. I admit, sometimes I forget who I am. Sometimes I forget the power that I have over my life and my circumstances. But that “moment” was a good reminder for all of us that how you feel is a result of how you think. It’s all connected. If you feel depressed or angry, chances are, you are thinking depressing and angry thoughts. So how do you change that? Well first you have to be aware. You have to pay attention to what you are actually thinking. Then once you identify the thoughts that are negative, which in turn are causing you to feel negative, then you create a positive affirmation to counter the negative thought. Build yourself up. Talk yourself up. Speak positive and powerful phrases to yourself. Phrases that start off with words such as, “I have” and “I am.” What you tell yourself will either build you up or tear you down. Pay attention to what you are thinking because your thoughts determine how you feel. -love, sj

Still a work in progress

St Louis Cardinal's Day @ Work

Still a work in progress

Protective Style Challenge

I have decided to enter into this protective style challenge. It was proposed by a natural hair community that I am associated with through Facebook. I would probably have not initially done it but my cousin proposed it so I am showing my support. Hell, I am one week short of my own natural hair anniversary. I might as well have something to show for it.

So, Trhonda is calling the challenge the 'Protective Style Challenge.' You can see all the details here. But the ultimate goal is to keep your hair in protective styles for length retention and moisture during the winter months.

The challenge is to run from today (October 1st) through February 28th!! That's a long time. It feels like I am in a relationship. (LOL. I wish, that's another post) I have even made myself a plan that I am hoping to stick to (until I get bored, anyway):

Wash and Conditioning schedule:

• Oil/massage scalp - twice a week
• Co-wash - one week
• Deep condition - once a month
• Shampoo hair - once a month 

Vitamins/Daily Supplements

• Prenatal - one per day
• Evening Primrose - one per day
• Flaxseed - one per day

Liquids

• Drink at least 32oz of water everyday

Style (no more than once a week):

• Two-strand twists
• Finger coil twists
• Flat twists
• Cornrows



First style: two strand twists

My goal is to grow and retain at least 2 inched of length by February 28th. I currently have 4 1/4 inches of hair in the front  (which are looser curls) and 3 3/4 inches of hair in the back (tight, tight curls) of my head.

Wish me luck, people.

Still a work in progress